Man Men's America: Artifacts salvaged from the lost Times Square Howard Johnson's

More than a few real “Mad Men” no doubt had drinks under this Times Square            HoJo’s Cocktails sign. Now it’s in the kitchen at Retrologist headquarters.

Welcome to Day 4 of Howard Johnson’s week at The Retrologist! Inspired by Sunday’s HoJo’s-friendly “Mad Men” episode, I’ve raided my photo archives to take you on tours of three Howard Johnson’s.

On Monday, we visited the Lake George HoJo’s, the last with a completely intact iconic orange roof. On Tuesday, we journeyed deeper into the Adirondacks to visit the Lake Placid HoJo’s, and Wednesday, we paid tribute to the late, great Howard Johnson’s in Times Square. 

Today, it’s back to Times Square to share something extra special. On July 10, 2005, just two days after Howard Johnson’s closed in Times Square after 46 years, the contents of the restaurant were auctioned off. I missed the event itself, but sent a good pal to bid on my behalf, and she came back with enough memorabilia to start a little unofficial offshoot of Howard Johnson’s in my kitchen.

The highlights:

1.) The COCKTAILS sign (seen above)

I consider this my “piece de resistance.” This was one of several Cocktails signs that graced that wonderfully retro HoJo’s for decades. It is a bold orange, as one would expect to find at Howard Johnson’s given the prevailing color scheme, and it became mine for a well-worth-it $75. Click HERE then scroll down to see a photo of this very cocktail sign in its native environment.

2.) Simple Simon and the Pieman plates

I was able to snag several of these coffee dishes featuring the logo of Howard Johnson’s – the Pieman with his stack of pies, Simple Simon ready to dig in, and the eager pooch hoping more than a few crumbs.

I wonder to this day what happened to the Simple Simon and Pieman sign that was latched to the corner of 46th and Broadway, which you can see in my earlier post. Wherever it is, I hope it is in good hands. 

3.) Apple Strudel sign

This is a great old sign. The cool plastic lettering set on wood makes for a fantastic conversation piece. I’m sure the Pieman made a mean Apple Strudel here. But after Sunday’s episode of “Mad Men,” I wish I could have scored a sign for “Orange Sherbet” ice cream!

4.) Menus

The menu is a gem. With apologies to “Broadway Joe” Namath, there’s something called the “Broadway HoJo” beefburger. For breakfast, you can enjoy a “Ham Quickie,” which seems appropriate given the sinful shenanigans in the neighborhood back in the day. And, of course, there are traditional HoJo’s items like Tendersweet clams.

The description of the cocktail lounge is glamorous: “Join us for Cocktails in Our Star-Filled Lounge Pre-Theatre & After Curtain Call.”  Sign me up for that swank scene!

The menu I have is dated “11/88,” so the prices are breathtakingly low, and the 1980s design stylings, as you can see, are breathtakingly high.

I could order a Harvey Wallbanger for $3.70 or Daiquiri for $3.20 to accompany my “overstuffed” corned beef sandwich with steak fries for a mere $6.65! 

The separate “Wines and Liquors” menu seems a HoJo’s standard issue, offering seductive photography: An example I included here displays cordials and liquors set next to a lit candle. It’s quite the romantic scene.

The frozen drinks are described as “pleasurable frozen potions” and include such delights as “Whatabana Blast,” Sunrise … Sunset,“ "Peachy Keen!” “Electric Lemon Snap!” and the “Ah - Cookie! Cookie!” Here’s that drink’s awesome description: “Not quite like the cookies & milk before bed … but better! Creme de cacao, creme de menthe, Vanilla ice cream and lots of Oreo cookies!”

If only I could walk in there tonight and order one. 

This weekend, I’ll conclude my Howard Johnson’s series with a couple of surprises. Stay tuned.